Apples... an excerpt.

  I couldn't resist posting this excerpt which got me started on writing again. I wrote this several years ago. For those of you who follow my blog, you know what I'm talking about because it's been discussed in an earlier blog. (April)
Yes, I know this is at odds with me being a paranormal writer... but really, most important, it's what got me back on the band wagon. So please, no judging, but comments are welcome :)

Enjoy Kenzie's Rules to Dating. It’s a humorous, contemporary story about a too curvy teen, who preferred facebook relationships to the real thing.

 (yep, that's the title. You really didn't expect me to call it Apples, did you?)

Excerpt: unedited

“I hate you, Hannah.” It had to be said.

She grinned. “What are you waiting for,” the bane of my life asked. “The apples are not going to crawl into your hands if you just look at it. Or maybe,” she said with a sly smile, “you want that date?”

  Oh yes, like a wart on my nose.

I turned toward the forest next door that Mr. Montgomery called an orchard. His dogs were more appealing than Philip at that moment.

Of course, I could always tell Hannah to jump of a cliff, but damn it all, if I didn’t get this devilish urge to go rob the apple trees myself, because I just about drooled when I saw those shiny green apples. Yep, their sole purpose in life was to be made into mouth-watering, delicious pies.

Hitching my falling sweats firmly into place, I slipped on my sneakers and tramped over to the fence separating our gardens.

We had moved here several years ago and the tall, ancient fruit trees always gave me the urge to want to pluck something from it. But I shied away from the idea once I caught a glimpse of old man Montgomery walking around with Hell and Fury dodging his heels. Those Dobermans from hell were a great deterrent. And the old cooter himself was a darn sight scarier with his overgrown gray hair and bushy beard.

I knew those dogs never left his side, so at this time of day, I was fairly safe, providing I moved fast.

As much as I wanted to scale that fence I couldn’t. My excess weight wouldn’t allow agility so I scrambled over the trellis with Tabby assisting by pushing at my butt and Hannah snickering like a jackass.

I fell on the other side, landing on the ground in an untidy sprawl. Pushing to my feet, I dusted the dirt off my behind and jogged toward the trees. There was no time to worry about wounded feelings but I did feel heaps better when I heard Tabby tell Hannah to shut up.

Clambering up the old tree wasn’t difficult. Snapping off twelve apples with shinning green skins—simple. The sweetish, tart smell of the apples filled my nostril, I had to clamp down the urge to take a bite of the lovely green temptation right off the tree. But I held off, thinking of the pie it would soon become and saliva pooled in my mouth. 

Climbing down was another matter when I realized just how far above the ground I was. Through the branches, I glanced over to where Hannah and Tabby stood on my home ground, safe with the fence separating us. But Hannah had disappeared and Tabby was retreating too. Great friends they were, I thought, since I could barely call out for her to wait for me. That would bring the old man and his two monsters racing out, when a low growl from below rippled through the leaves of the apple tree.

I stiffened. Fear knotted my belly. My fingers dug into the knurled, rough surface of the branch.

There on the ground amongst the stolen twelve apples, stood Hell and Fury, glaring up at me. The knot in my stomach slithered up my chest.

Oh crap! I was in serious trouble. I shut my eyes hoping this was all a bad dream.

 “Hello, up there.”

My eyes snapped open. I stared at vision below me. Did an angel  fall into the pits of Hell?

Okay, I know angels don’t really fall to earth… wait, are there even angels? My thoughts began to scramble. But this guy certainly made me think of one. He was probably a year or two older than me. Over grown sable hair framed a gorgeous face and he had the most striking eyes I'd ever seen.

 Dark gray with specks of molten silver stared at me.

“What are you doing up there?” His amusement tinged voice brought me down to earth with a hard thud. A humiliating flush of heat flooded me as I recalled the precariousness of my situation.

I scowled, didn’t answer, and nonchalantly tried to make my way down but those horrible creatures by his feet growled and I froze.

“Conner?” I heard the old man  holler. “Is it those pesky cats again?”

The mirth on the face below me widened into a grin. “I wouldn’t exactly say that,” he yelled.

“Get rid of it then,” another raspy shout. “Lunch’s getting cold.”

“It’s not that easy,” Conner said, but in a lower tone. Obviously meant for me. And that grin was really starting to annoy me.

 “Really,” he said again, as if he seriously wanted to know, “what are you doing up there?”