Yes, I know this is at odds with me being a paranormal writer... but really, most important, it's what got me back on the band wagon. So please, no judging, but comments are welcome :)
Enjoy Kenzie's Rules to Dating. It’s a humorous, contemporary story about a too curvy
teen, who preferred facebook relationships to the real thing.
(yep, that's the title. You really didn't expect me to call it Apples, did you?)
Excerpt: unedited
“I hate you, Hannah.” It
had to be said.
She grinned. “What are you
waiting for,” the bane of my life asked. “The apples are not going to crawl
into your hands if you just look at it. Or maybe,” she said
with a sly smile, “you want that date?”
Oh yes, like a wart on my nose.
I turned toward the forest
next door that Mr. Montgomery called an orchard. His dogs were more appealing
than Philip at that moment.
Of course, I could always
tell Hannah to jump of a cliff, but damn it all, if I didn’t get this devilish urge
to go rob the apple trees myself, because I just about drooled when I saw
those shiny green apples. Yep, their sole purpose in life was to be made into mouth-watering, delicious pies.
Hitching my falling sweats
firmly into place, I slipped on my sneakers and tramped over to the fence
separating our gardens.
We had moved here several
years ago and the tall, ancient fruit trees always gave me the urge to want to pluck something
from it. But I shied away from the idea once I caught a glimpse of old man
Montgomery walking around with Hell and Fury dodging his heels. Those Dobermans from hell were a great
deterrent. And the old cooter himself was a darn sight scarier with his
overgrown gray hair and bushy beard.
I knew those dogs never
left his side, so at this time of day, I was fairly safe, providing I moved
fast.
As much as I wanted to
scale that fence I couldn’t. My excess weight wouldn’t allow agility so I
scrambled over the trellis with Tabby assisting by pushing at my butt and
Hannah snickering like a jackass.
I fell on the other side,
landing on the ground in an untidy sprawl. Pushing to my feet, I dusted the dirt
off my behind and jogged toward the trees. There was no time to worry about wounded
feelings but I did feel heaps better when I heard Tabby tell Hannah to shut up.
Clambering up the old tree wasn’t
difficult. Snapping off twelve apples with shinning green skins—simple. The
sweetish, tart smell of the apples filled my nostril, I had to clamp down the urge
to take a bite of the lovely green temptation right off the tree. But I held
off, thinking of the pie it would soon become and saliva pooled in my mouth.
Climbing down was another
matter when I realized just how far above the ground I was. Through the branches, I glanced over to
where Hannah and Tabby stood on my home ground, safe with the fence separating
us. But Hannah had disappeared and
Tabby was retreating too. Great friends they were, I thought, since I could barely
call out for her to wait for me. That would bring the old man and his two monsters racing out, when a low growl from below rippled through the leaves of the apple tree.
I stiffened. Fear knotted my belly. My fingers dug
into the knurled, rough surface of the branch.
There on the ground amongst
the stolen twelve apples, stood Hell and Fury, glaring up at me. The knot in my stomach slithered up my chest.
Oh crap! I was in serious
trouble. I shut my eyes hoping this was all a bad dream.
“Hello, up there.”
My eyes snapped open. I stared at vision below me. Did an angel fall into the pits of Hell?
Okay, I know angels don’t really fall to earth… wait, are there even angels? My thoughts began to
scramble. But this guy certainly made me think of one. He was probably a year
or two older than me. Over grown sable hair framed a gorgeous face and he had the most
striking eyes I'd ever seen.
Dark gray with specks of molten
silver stared at me.
“What are you doing up
there?” His amusement tinged voice brought me down to earth with a hard thud. A
humiliating flush of heat flooded me as I recalled the precariousness of my
situation.
I scowled, didn’t answer,
and nonchalantly tried to make my way down but those horrible creatures by his
feet growled and I froze.
“Conner?” I heard the old man holler. “Is it those pesky cats again?”
The mirth on the face
below me widened into a grin. “I wouldn’t exactly say that,” he yelled.
“Get rid of it then,” another raspy shout. “Lunch’s getting cold.”
“It’s not that easy,” Conner
said, but in a lower tone. Obviously meant for me. And that grin was really
starting to annoy me.
“Really,” he said again, as if he seriously
wanted to know, “what are you doing up there?”
